Looks like summer is finally here. We've had out first 90+ degree days (they came and went quickly in typical New Engalnd fashion). And so has the time of year when the swimsuit doesn't ever get to fully dry out. Pulling on a wet swimsuit is SO much fun...
I've been to Walden twice this week. Once for kayaking (where we found a kayaker named *J* who demanded to know whether *K2* knew how to save his own ass if he happened to flip - as if it were any of his business.... If I want to die from stupidity, please let me...) - and I have found that, in general, the kayakers at Walden seem to fit in well with the Concord scene... "Look at my expensive boat, and lets see how much info you can spew out- whether the other person wants to hear it or not" or "lets sit around in our kayaks and talk but not really DO anything, as we are on a small pond that i have paddled a hundred times, and really once was enough". I WISH like hell I didn't want to move to Concord in a few years, and buy a nice little house. BUT they have coffee shops, and art galleries, lots of open space for trail running, easy access to the commuter train, they're dog friendly AND they have Walden. Everything I want, but I know I'll just complain about my neihgbors, the people, constantly. Everything that I love Concord for is also what draws the people I want nothing to do with. Like a moth to a flame... but I digress...
The second time to Walden this week: yesterday, on the solstice. What better way to spend that magical longest day of the year. In the warm light of the waning solstice...golden, perfect. The sun warming my shoulders. Thanks to Las Vegas, I think this is the tannest I've ever been this early in the year. Lets hear it for skin cancer.
Yesterday was sacred. Theres no denying it. A perfect celebration, far better than any birthday or Christmas. Just the quiet simplicity- I didn't even hear any young kids screeching across the pond. There were some really loud teenage boys who, undoubtedly, were celebrating being out of school, gearing up for a summer of heavy drinking and womanizer training.
But the quiet, the stillness. the golden late day sun. the light patterns dancing off the water and lighting the showdy parts of the trees that are growing close to shore. I kept thinking "this is new england summer at its best" - but how can the best day of summer be the first day of summer? what does that say about the rest of the season?
The good news is that I have a new 'happy place' to mentally teleport to in times of stress, or when I need to mentally check out of my body.
The fish were incredible. I wasn't swimming for exercise so much as diving to look at fish. beautiful fish: yellow; striped; baby fish, silver schools darting around, parting as I dove through their cloud; big fish too. More fish than I saw all of last year put together.
As usual, I pulled the '5 more minutes' routine... and with about 4.5 minutes left I was visciously attacted by a turtle. Well, no, not really. It swam into my back, near my shoulder. I was just standed there, treading water. Not so surprisingly really, but ironic since I had spent the entire evening joking about the pond monster that lived in the deep dark part of the pond. But it caught me by surprise, and I yelped. The Pond Monster got me. And apaprently, it was as surprised as I was, and took off in the other direction, most likely thinking 'that was not a big white rock at ALL'. I heard it was brown.
So there is a lesson for you: the Pond Monster can sneak up on you when you least expect it, and with no advance warning.
In other Walden news: there is something in the water at Walden... The car key that *K* (the other K) had in his pocket became all discolored. Not muddy, not dirty, but actually physically altered. The metal has oxidized or something. WHAT is in that water? Is that why there are no weeds growing?
Also, all my little crawfish friends that lived along the rock wall part of the pond are dead. They were lying upside down on their backs beneath the water. I think they dorwned in their little rock wall crevice homes because the water is so high this year. If I had to guess, the water is 3 FEET higher than it usually is. All the benches are underwater. It might be safe to declare the drought over. But I'm not really a hydrogeologist anymore, so don't take my word for it.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Relics and the tale of Kitchen renovation
Yesterday the other half of k2 & I went to an architectural salvage store in Amesbury, MA. We didn't find what we were looking for (old soapstone farmers sink), but there was an insane amount of really cool, but really dirty/dusty stuff. It reminded me of walking through the attic of the old house that the other 'ki' owned in Arlington Heights.
Mostly, they had old windows, old doors, old mantles, old urinals (from schools, it looked like) and door knobs. Its funny though- looking through all this stuff- it really seems like I'd see a lot of it in people's houses in the past. All the pieces were so familiar, it was comforting. Well, not the urinals, really. but the other stuff :)
We didn't buy a damn thing. But I think I'm hooked now. And I decided that we couldn't afford the sink we want, even if we happened to find it. Upwards of $1000 is too much to spend on a sink. And, apparently, the newly manufactured ones are cheaper than the older ones. Which defies logic to me, but oh well. Back to home depot for the acrylic composite, stain-proof microban sink for under $200. Call me cheap, but this house has way too many problems for me to spend that much on a sink. There is too much work to be done.
We ordered a really cool vent hood/microwave/convection oven from home depot a few weeks ago. the delivery day was supposed to be today (finally), and they were supposed to call me yesterday to set up a delivery time. they didn't call, at least not before I went to bed. They called me at almost 11 p.m. Getting woken up to an automated voice at 11 p.m. is ridiculous. I don't like getting called that late, and you can't tell a machine to go to hell (well, you can, but your point is lost). I thought someone had DIED. And to boot, I wont be home when they want to deliver it. SO... luckily, I'm not ready for it, and I will battle with them today to arrange re-delivery.
Imagine... If i had hired someone to do this for me, they would have to deal with all this crap. BUT it would cost me 4x as much, and all at once, and then I'd have to rely on them to get it RIGHT, and not let the cat out of the house. I'll take the 11 pm automated phone calls, I think...
Mostly, they had old windows, old doors, old mantles, old urinals (from schools, it looked like) and door knobs. Its funny though- looking through all this stuff- it really seems like I'd see a lot of it in people's houses in the past. All the pieces were so familiar, it was comforting. Well, not the urinals, really. but the other stuff :)
We didn't buy a damn thing. But I think I'm hooked now. And I decided that we couldn't afford the sink we want, even if we happened to find it. Upwards of $1000 is too much to spend on a sink. And, apparently, the newly manufactured ones are cheaper than the older ones. Which defies logic to me, but oh well. Back to home depot for the acrylic composite, stain-proof microban sink for under $200. Call me cheap, but this house has way too many problems for me to spend that much on a sink. There is too much work to be done.
We ordered a really cool vent hood/microwave/convection oven from home depot a few weeks ago. the delivery day was supposed to be today (finally), and they were supposed to call me yesterday to set up a delivery time. they didn't call, at least not before I went to bed. They called me at almost 11 p.m. Getting woken up to an automated voice at 11 p.m. is ridiculous. I don't like getting called that late, and you can't tell a machine to go to hell (well, you can, but your point is lost). I thought someone had DIED. And to boot, I wont be home when they want to deliver it. SO... luckily, I'm not ready for it, and I will battle with them today to arrange re-delivery.
Imagine... If i had hired someone to do this for me, they would have to deal with all this crap. BUT it would cost me 4x as much, and all at once, and then I'd have to rely on them to get it RIGHT, and not let the cat out of the house. I'll take the 11 pm automated phone calls, I think...
Sunday, June 04, 2006
i'm not dead...and other things
The tournament didn't kill me. I have one giant bruise, but thats nothing. And we won, so it was a good day. And I don't have to play again, I don't think...
*********
Its funny how the simple idea of NOT moving every 20 months or so will change a person. Suddenly, local politics are no longer 'not my problem, because I wont be here'. I CARE who represents me (why? I dunno. I think democracy is still largely a myth designed to keep all of us little people quiet...). That, and I don't vote in Texas; voting in Texas was about as exciting as littering- I threw my vote away. But I voted anyway. If I can give up my career so my spouse can defend me so called democracy (i have a big problem with THAT concept- how invading a sovereign nation amounts to defending democracy, I'll never know, but thats not the point here), I might as well take 45 minutes to wait in line to throw my vote away. But now, living here, its not a foregone conclusion that logic looses. There's a chance that sanity could prevail. So I'm paying a little closer attention. And it feels good. Like I'll have the right to complain when issues don't work out the way I had hoped they would.
I heard recently that something like 3 times as many people voted for the latest American Idol than voted for the latest presidential election. Maybe if we ran elections like American Idol, we'd have a representative government? I can't say for sure, having never been tortured by watching American Idol.... but it sounds good on the surface.
Another way that the idea of not moving across the country in a matter of months has changed me is on the home improvement front: suddenly, the idea of stretching the budget isn't a BAD idea. What I WANT (as opposed to resale value) suddenly carries weight. I can choose paint colors, and tile, and flooring, and appliances based on what I want, not on resale value. Instead of trying to create a box-store image of 'perfect', i can choose what I want, take a 'chance' (in this context, it sounds so melodramatic. but choosing colors is HARD. I'll have to like this stuff for YEARS). I can let myself be expressed (imagine this: a whole house full of personal expression that I am afraid to share with anyone.... nothing says 'hermit' like a remodelled house that no one is allowed to visit :) ). Also, I can NOT do a project, and save it until next year, or the year after... theres a lot less pressure.
These are just 2 examples. Overall, I feel very consciously that I am rebuiling my life, rebuilding me, piece by piece. Its a unique chance, not one that everyone gets, and not one that comes along often. Its terrifying, and liberating- more of the latter than the former. I'm thrilled. Imagine, getting that clean slate to start over with- how would you build yourself? What would you do? And how would you react to the idea of any future unhapiness you may experience could be related directly back to the decisions you make while the sky is the limit. Its idyllic, but scary at the same time.
*********
Its funny how the simple idea of NOT moving every 20 months or so will change a person. Suddenly, local politics are no longer 'not my problem, because I wont be here'. I CARE who represents me (why? I dunno. I think democracy is still largely a myth designed to keep all of us little people quiet...). That, and I don't vote in Texas; voting in Texas was about as exciting as littering- I threw my vote away. But I voted anyway. If I can give up my career so my spouse can defend me so called democracy (i have a big problem with THAT concept- how invading a sovereign nation amounts to defending democracy, I'll never know, but thats not the point here), I might as well take 45 minutes to wait in line to throw my vote away. But now, living here, its not a foregone conclusion that logic looses. There's a chance that sanity could prevail. So I'm paying a little closer attention. And it feels good. Like I'll have the right to complain when issues don't work out the way I had hoped they would.
I heard recently that something like 3 times as many people voted for the latest American Idol than voted for the latest presidential election. Maybe if we ran elections like American Idol, we'd have a representative government? I can't say for sure, having never been tortured by watching American Idol.... but it sounds good on the surface.
Another way that the idea of not moving across the country in a matter of months has changed me is on the home improvement front: suddenly, the idea of stretching the budget isn't a BAD idea. What I WANT (as opposed to resale value) suddenly carries weight. I can choose paint colors, and tile, and flooring, and appliances based on what I want, not on resale value. Instead of trying to create a box-store image of 'perfect', i can choose what I want, take a 'chance' (in this context, it sounds so melodramatic. but choosing colors is HARD. I'll have to like this stuff for YEARS). I can let myself be expressed (imagine this: a whole house full of personal expression that I am afraid to share with anyone.... nothing says 'hermit' like a remodelled house that no one is allowed to visit :) ). Also, I can NOT do a project, and save it until next year, or the year after... theres a lot less pressure.
These are just 2 examples. Overall, I feel very consciously that I am rebuiling my life, rebuilding me, piece by piece. Its a unique chance, not one that everyone gets, and not one that comes along often. Its terrifying, and liberating- more of the latter than the former. I'm thrilled. Imagine, getting that clean slate to start over with- how would you build yourself? What would you do? And how would you react to the idea of any future unhapiness you may experience could be related directly back to the decisions you make while the sky is the limit. Its idyllic, but scary at the same time.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
what kind of brain do you have?
I'm either this:
Although i'm not good at connecting people (i don't LIKE people). everything else seems to fit.
Or this:
Actually, I think I am a mix of the two, and the second one is more heavily weighted.
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 |
Or this:
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be. |
Actually, I think I am a mix of the two, and the second one is more heavily weighted.
the tournament
Today is the big day. I've been dreading and hoping for this day for about 2 weeks. Dread: it might kill me. Hope: I get to play soccer (I like soccer- played in college, and I don't often get the opportunity).
Let me back track... my hubby 'ki" (technically, we're both 'ki' - otherwise known as k2- but here I am known as I, because its mine, all mine...) is in the military. I'm not saying which branch, and I'm not giving rank. He's getting out soon, so its a mute (moot? which is it?) point anyway. At any rate, he's in the military and he's having a group vs. group soccer tournament this afternoon.
In the military, or in some parts of it, you have group PT (physical training, usually some aerobic activity) on a weekly basis (somethimes more often, sometimes not at all). Historically, I've always gone, unless I was working - some structure is good, and being forced to get some exercise isn't a bad thing.
This spring the aerobic activity has turned visciously competetive. I've been sent to the ER once (got hit point blank by a disc directly in the nose and the bleeding would.not.stop.) and should have gone a second time (head injury from being decked by the Lt. Col - thanks, man). I have a permanent lump of scar tissue on the inside of my right leg, above the ankle, on the bone. it was swollen and bruised for weeks (it still hurts, and i think this happened in early March). I've had a cramp in my calf since late March, which I am blaming on PT as well, because thats when it first showed up.
So, this afternoon, is the tournament. I've been invited to play (kind of amazing since I am a lowly spouse, and a girl to boot- its like being a 2nd class citizen or a leper). Its 85 degrees, hazy, and humid. I'm seriously hoping for a major T-storm to cancel it, because otherwise, I'm afraid this will kill me, or maim me enough so that I can't function properly for a while. But for some reason, my pride wont let me NOT go. damn that pride. Lets pray for some severe weather to get me out of this mess.
Let me back track... my hubby 'ki" (technically, we're both 'ki' - otherwise known as k2- but here I am known as I, because its mine, all mine...) is in the military. I'm not saying which branch, and I'm not giving rank. He's getting out soon, so its a mute (moot? which is it?) point anyway. At any rate, he's in the military and he's having a group vs. group soccer tournament this afternoon.
In the military, or in some parts of it, you have group PT (physical training, usually some aerobic activity) on a weekly basis (somethimes more often, sometimes not at all). Historically, I've always gone, unless I was working - some structure is good, and being forced to get some exercise isn't a bad thing.
This spring the aerobic activity has turned visciously competetive. I've been sent to the ER once (got hit point blank by a disc directly in the nose and the bleeding would.not.stop.) and should have gone a second time (head injury from being decked by the Lt. Col - thanks, man). I have a permanent lump of scar tissue on the inside of my right leg, above the ankle, on the bone. it was swollen and bruised for weeks (it still hurts, and i think this happened in early March). I've had a cramp in my calf since late March, which I am blaming on PT as well, because thats when it first showed up.
So, this afternoon, is the tournament. I've been invited to play (kind of amazing since I am a lowly spouse, and a girl to boot- its like being a 2nd class citizen or a leper). Its 85 degrees, hazy, and humid. I'm seriously hoping for a major T-storm to cancel it, because otherwise, I'm afraid this will kill me, or maim me enough so that I can't function properly for a while. But for some reason, my pride wont let me NOT go. damn that pride. Lets pray for some severe weather to get me out of this mess.
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